Pet-Aholics Anonymous

I wonder if there is a 12 step program for pet aquirers. Cause we now live in a three bedroom ranch style house with three human types, two reclusive hermit crabs, one ridiculously cute but smelly hamster and THREE cats. This morning when I woke up and looked around my life I was very happy with my two other humans, my two crabs, my one hamster and my two cats. Everybody was getting along, everyone had food and water (including the humans) and there was an unspoken balance. Not once during the morning of reading the paper, making coffee, watching SpongeBob (a DAILY ritual in my house) did I ever think to myself, "hmmmm, self, there is something missing here and it surely must be another cat". And yet.....

In my defense I come from animal people. Stop that. I don't mean "animal people" I mean people who have animals. Have any of you ever seen the movie Cat People? Very strange and has nothing to do with anything in this current topic it just popped into my head.

So anyway, animal people. Growing up we had dogs and cats and horses. I wasn't allowed anything small and manageable that lived in a cage but the sky was the limit on things that cost a fortune to feed, or left dead mouse guts at the foot of your bed, or that you had to spend a couple hours a week cleaning up after. At one point in my life, I shared a twin sized bed with a 160 pound slobbering puppy of a dog and a 20 pounds tomcat. If I wanted to go to the bathroom I had to shimmy out from between them, throw a leg over the dog and try not to knee the cat in the face. Then do it all in reverse to get back in. Its a wonder I didn't just give up and sleep on the floor, except they would have followed me down there too.

Since I am constrained from getting a dog in this house and since a horse would find our backyard a bit of a bore, I apparently try to fill the holes this leaves in my soul with little animals. Like a pet jigsaw puzzle. Cat here, next to the crab, the crab next to the hamster and stuff all rest of the spaces with more cats, another crab and in the future a fish.

A fish? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I bribed Sydney to go to my parents for a week by promising that Grandma would get her a fish. And a tank. That she could bring home with her.

In my defense, Sydney needs a friend in the house to play with (she has some very good friends outside the house but for some reason their parents want them to continue living at their own homes). The crabs are interesting (the once or twice they actually move during any seven day period), the hamster, while friendly and cuddly, will NOT stay on her bed or let her dress him up in her Build a Bear ballerina costume, and the other two cats? Lets say that while everyone in that little triad is on speaking terms, no one would call the other "friend". And if I'm asked when she can have a little brother again....

So when we went to Petsmart today to buy the giant bag of cat food, the crab pellets and the big bag of hamster bedding and Sydney picked up this kitten, walked around with it and showed it things, and I couldn't stop myself. I just couldn't. So $120.00 later, armed with a yet bigger bag of cat food, some new cat toys, a new cat bowl and a very happy kid we are now nine instead of eight and in two weeks we will be a nice round ten.


A 12 step program is definately looming in my future. Hi, I'm LeeAnn and I'm a pet-aholic.