Step Right Up Folks - You'll Win A Prize!

Its good to know that even the strangest things you do in your life can end up being useful later on. For example... When I was roughly 22 I ran away to the carnival and for six months was an actual "carney". (And alothough I'm sure the life long carnies would disagree and have some sort of mean newbie name for me instead, I can't seem remember that far back into the mezazoic era) . And I didn't exactly run away, although I did pack my car and leave in the dead of night, since my mom was there to see me off and my husband at the time was waiting at the midway for me. But for the sake of all things funny, lets keep saying I "ran off to the carnival" (at least I didn't run off to the circus, since I was not nearly fat, tattooed, hairy, double jointed, or two-headed enough for that)

While working on the midway I got an education in Marks (that's you people) and how to get them to hand me scads of wadded up dollar bills just to win prizes that no one outside the alternate reality of the carnival would even bend over to pick up. I learned how to talk fast and say valuable things like "hit one - you get one!", "Every dollar wins you a prize!" and "do NOT hit me with that dart!" And I learned how to eat hot dogs and left over roasted corn at 8:00 in the morning. You would think that I would have found a use for these talents of increadible usefulness before now, but honestly, and I know you won't believe me, but outside the midway you just look like a crazy person if you yell at people and wave darts or rings or ping pong balls around at them. Its true, I swear! (not that I've tried, really, no I haven't).

And so I hid all those hard learned lessons away in a box somewhere and only bought them out to amuse (and sometimes horrify) friends. After telling people that I used to travel with a carnival I have caught some suddenly checking to see if I really do have all my teeth (which I do) or asking me if I did a lot of drugs (which I didn't). But mostly its funny. I mean, who walks around thinking a 40-something, frumpy looking mom was every anything other than what she appears right now? Hey, I think I just thought up a new game to while away the hours watching mykid at dance, gymnastics or girl scouts. Find the most harmless looking mom and see what you can picture her doing in her past. Maybe she used to be a madam, running a stable of 23 girls, maybe she was a gun runner for a cartel in Columbia, maybe she was a secret follower of voodoo, or maybe she was a fire eater (That last one is me too, but that's a story for a different night).

But regardless I put all of the things I learned from the midway away and haven't had the chance to use them again, until now.

Because finally, after all these years since my time as a joint jockey, these skills will be taken out of their rusty, cobweb covered box and be put to good (if not somewhat watered down for the kiddies) use. Beware mother, fathers, grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles of Highlands Elemtary (Sydney's new school), and bring ALL of your wadded up dollars, cause there will be a real live carney on the midway Fall Carnival this year.

;)