Friday, August 7, 2009

Wow you guys are demanding about this blog. Its great you read it, believe me I love seeing how many clicks it gets in a day, but Damn! Texting me, calling me, sending email messages about when is a new one coming and if "you don't write one every day my life will suddenly lose all focus and my nail polish will chip and my plants will wilt!" If it were only up to me I would save both your nail polish and your plants, but its not. At least not entirely. There are a plethora (Love that word) of things that sometimes make it impossible for me to get words from my brain, out my fingers and onto this big white page. Sometimes it is the big white page itself. It sits there and mocks me with its whiteness. It glows in its pristine glory, taunting me with the fact that NOTHING is in my head. (go ahead with the jokes you know you want to). Sometimes I think of a subject but it has no flow, no waaaaa, no chi. (good lord) And of course, you can't write if there is no waaaaaaa.

Speaking of waaaaaaa (of a different kind, picture a kid who DOESN'T get to watch "just ooonnneee more SpongeBob) that's another reason I don't sit down and churn a blog out every day. Strangely, that five year old Sydney person that lives in my house sometimes requires inordinate amount of care, what with cooking dinner, washing clothes, and, ahem, cleaning up large amounts of cat food and pasta so at the end of it all that couch is looking mighty good. Maybe I should bring the couch into the office. The desk is too heavy to move.

Then there is the somewhat astonishing fact that I have a life outside my house where my computer cannot follow. (thank god, cause that would just look weird). And when I get home from the carnal debauchery of Red Robin, Islands, or (god forbid) Chuck E Cheese I am again too tired to write and instead make fast friends with my couchy. (and the T.V., I love my t.v. in front of my couchy)

Also, since I have to leave the house before the sun rises for my epic journey to the office, like Cinderella, only earlier, I have to be in bed by 10:30 or I turn, not into a pumpkin, but well, a bitch. (stop it, I already gave you one with the nothing in my brain). So that leaves only a few hours a night to be mom, maid, pet parent, laundress, AND brilliant, nail polish plant saving humorist. I suppose wife should fit in there too, but who has time for that?

But most importantly, sometimes I just don't feel funny and I vowed that if I was going to subject people to a blog it was going to be light and funny, no politics, no religion, and no discussions on the plight of the standard american poodle in the wake of the popularity of its teacup sized cousin. No, I will keep it light! But sometimes you feel like a nut. And sometimes you don't.

:)

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